Domestic Violence Awareness Month
It’s a good bet that domestic violence will touch the life of every single American, of every circumstance, at some point in their lifetime; and it will leave a devastating impact on the women, men, children, relatives, friends, co-workers and even clergy involved.
October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, a time recommit to ending violence within our homes, our communities and our country, and where ever in the world we can reach.
Below, I’ve posted a tip a day for each day of the month. For a PDF version of all 31 tips with clickable links, click here.
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- Technology as it relates to Domestic Violence
I attended a meeting of the New York Women’s Agenda Domestic Violence Committee (which I co-chair) last night and we had a special presentation about how to use social media for job searches for domestic violence survivors. Important stuff. But safety precautions must be taken. Going to post more on this, but take a look at the guidelines below per the NYS Coalition Against Domestic Violence: It is important to remember that computer technology can put your privacy and safety at risk. Computer hard drives are capable of recording every action taken on the computer and Internet, and it is virtually impossible to completely erase these “foot prints”. Even if your abuser is not an expert at computers, he may be able to trace what you have done on the computer or can easily find someone who can. If you think you may be monitored on your home computer, it may be safer for you to stop using that computer. Computers that are located in a public library, community technology center, Internet cafe or at a trusted friend’s house may be safer options if you wish to use e-mail or browse the Internet. Other precautions you can take include the following:
http://www.nyscadv.org/techsafetydv.htm
- Susan on WBAI 99.5FM - Financial Literacy for Domestic Violence Survivors
Financial Literacy for Domestic Violence Survivors Radio Show
Hosted by Susan Bartelstone, Crime Prevention Specialist
Air Date: March 9, 2012, WBAI 99.5FM, http://wbai.org/
Special Programming for International Working Women’s Day
It can be almost impossible to leave an abusive relationship if you’re jobless, skill-less or lacking the economic resources to survive on one income instead of two–leaving you and your children trapped and financially dependent on an abuser.On March 9, 2012, I hosted a radio show on WBAI 99.5FM in New York City, on Financial Literacy for Domestic Violence Survivors, as part of a full day of special programming to commemorate International Working Women’s Day.
I hosted this program not only because I’m a crime prevention specialist who has dealt with domestic violence issues for more than 18 years, but also in my capacity as co-chair of the Domestic Violence Committee of the New York Women’s Agenda, a consortium of 100 women’s groups dedicated to fighting for women’s rights regarding equal pay, domestic violence and economic empowerment. Check us out at http://www.NYWA.org.
MY first guest was Denise Allen. Twenty years ago, she was the woman you read about in the newspapers: a wife and mother of two, abused and beaten for 10 years of marriage, who finally kicked out her husband and was left with pretty much nothing; not knowing where her next meal was coming from or how she was going to take care of her family. Today, she’s president of her own company, Allen Tax Services and she’s a Domestic Violence activist who works with organizations servicing survivors, helping them with tax preparation and economic survival strategies.
Next I spoke with Adria Schmidt, who runs the financial literacy courses for the Violence Intervention Program (VIP) in their Casa Sandra housing units and Yvette Perez who supervises was financial literacy courses in their shelter. The Violence Intervention Program is the only program in NYC that services Spanish-speaking and immigrant survivors (documented or undocumented) exclusively.
After the show, as Denise Allen and I were leaving the control booth, someone called in for one of the hotline numbers I gave out during the broadcast. It was an amazing moment for us because we knew someone was listening and taking our message to heart.
NYC Resources:
- DENISE ALLEN, ALLEN TAX SERVICES, tax preparation and speaker on economic survival strategies: chevcel@aol.com
- NEW YORK WOMEN’S AGENDA FINANCIAL LITERACY GUIDE: free download, updated annually, that lists internet resources, publications and financial literacy courses and programs held in all five boroughs of NYC: http://www.nywa.org
- WI$E (WORKING IN SUPPORT OF EDUCATION) provides local and national financial literacy education programs to youth and domestic violence victims: 212-421-2700 ♦ www.wise-ny.org
- BARRIER FREE LIVING: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE and GENERAL HELPLINE FOR PEOPLE WITH DISABILITIES: 212-677-6668 ♦ www.bflnyc.org
- NY ASIAN WOMEN’S CENTER, MULTILINGUAL HOTLINE FOR ASIAN WOMEN: www.nyawc.org ♦ 888-888-7702
- VIOLENCE INTERVENTION PROGRAM, HOTLINE FOR SPANISH-SPEAKING/IMMIGRANTS (documented or undocumented): 800-644-5880 ♦ www.vipmujeres.org
- NYC DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE, staffed by SAFE HORIZON: 800-621-4673 ♦ www.safehorizon.org
- NYC OFFICE OF FINANCIAL EMPOWERMENT provides an extensive array of free or low cost programs to help people obtain financial independence: http://www.nyc.gov/html/ofe/html/home/home.shtml
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National Resources:
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224 (TDD) ♦ http://www.thehotline.org
- Tip #20 – After Leaving an Abuser: Identity Theft and Domestic Abuse. Domestic Violence Awareness Month Identity theft, the fraudulent assumption of a person’s identity, is a form of abuse, a form of stalking, a means of control and, perhaps most importantly, a way of determining the whereabouts of a person trying to hide from a vengeful, violent abuser. It’s a common form of retaliation and most abusive partners have full access to their wife, partner and children’s social security numbers, bank account and credit card numbers, passports and other personal information.
Once someone’s identity is stolen and the person’s credit is ruined, it can take years to reinstate and the victim may not be able to get credit, an apartment or a job — all critical for someone trying to escape an abusive situation. In addition to the Safety Plan you make in preparation for leaving an abusive relationship (or as soon as possible afterwards), make an Identity Theft Safety Plan too. Suggestions:
- Obtain a credit report from all three major credit bureaus (you’re entitled to one free credit report annually).
- Join an identity theft monitoring service. It’s well worth the expense because if your identity becomes compromised, the service will spend the considerable time and money involved to reinstate your identity. Become a member of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence and the identity theft company TrustedID will donate a year of free protection to a victim of domestic violence. LifeLock is another good company to look into.
- Place fraud alerts on all your accounts and, in some states, credit freezes. A good resource for this is Epic (Electronic Pricvacy Information Center).
More resources: Consumer Protection Board; Identity Theft Resource Center; Federal Trade Commission Identity Theft Division; National Center for Victims of Crime; US Department of Justice/Identity Theft.
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. If you need immediate help, call National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TDD). Crime Prevention 101
- Tip #19 – After Leaving an Abuser: Stalking Tips. Domestic Violence Awareness Month
Stalking and domestic violence go hand in hand, unfortunately. Once you’ve left an abusive relationship, it’s not uncommon for the abuser to become a harasser, perhaps a violent harasser. Be prepared for it particularly in the first few months after you’ve left the relationship. Stalking is a terrifying situation that involves such behaviors as persistent phone calls, text messages or emails (both at home and on the job), receiving unwanted or gruesome gifts, physical and/or technological surveillance and other frightening invasions of your home and privacy.There’s also cyberstalking. Without your knowledge, your cell phone can be tracked by your abuser’s cell phone, your text messages and emails can be monitored, any social media sites you may be on can be traced or trashed. Tracking devices can be placed on your vehicle. Your home or work computer can be hacked and your online activities monitored.
Unfortunately, if you’re in a stalking situation, you are going to have to change your normal day to day routines and your way of life radically. This is extremely unfair, but it’s critical in order to ensure your safety. Some resources:
- Stalking in America: http://www.esia.net/safety_tips
- Stalking Behavior: http://www.stalkingbehavior.com
- Stalking Information: www.answers.com/topic/stalking
- Stalking Tips: http://www.stopyourstalker.com/
- Privacy Rights Clearinghouse – stop harassing phone calls: https://www.privacyrights.org/fs/fs3-hrs2.htm
- AT&T Call Screening: http://www.corp.att.com/smbcc/aio/aio_callscreen.html
- The 50 Best Safety and Security Blogs: http://www.forensicsciencetechnician.org/the-50-best-safety-and-security-blogs/
- Cyberstalking and Domestic Violence: http://www.ncvc.org/ncvc/main.aspx?dbName=DocumentViewer&DocumentID=32458
- Cyberstalking and Harassment: http://www.dvrcv.org.au/cyber-stalking-and-harassment
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. If you need immediate help, call National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TDD). Crime Prevention 101
- Tip #18 – Leaving an Abuser? Make an Escape Plan. Domestic Violence Awareness Month
Before you file for a restraining order or make any attempt to leave an abusive relationship, make an escape plan with places to go if you have to leave your home quickly, such as friends, relatives or a local domestic violence shelter and determine the best route to take. Don’t go it alone; get help from a local domestic violence group or Family Justice Center. Draw up a checklist of items you’ll need and gather as many as you can and hide in an unobtrusive place (say a laundry bag in a child’s room) in case of a hasty departure: cash, credit cards, keys, driver’s license and registration, medications, all identification and other important papers for everyone like birth certificates, green cards, passports and your Order of Protection. Put as much important information you can on a flash drive that can be kept you on your key ring. You can scan documents onto the drive at any Kinkos. Use computers in libraries rather than at home. Pack a favorite toy or blanket to help ease the trauma for your kids and, of course, grab the family pet.
Terrific resource to guide you through the process: Time’s Up by Susan Murphy Milano, available in both paperback and e-book (which can ultimately be downloaded onto a flash drive so you won’t be discovered with the book).
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. If you need immediate help, call National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TDD). Crime Prevention 101
- Tip #17 – Financial Literacy for Domestic Violence Survivors. Domestic Violence Awareness Month
It’s almost impossible for someone to leave an abusive relationship if they’re be jobless, skill-less and lacking the economic resources and know-how to survive and take care of their family. Fear of losing health insurance and other benefits is another factor. It’s also frightening for a working person whose family depends on two incomes to survive to figure out how to manage on one income, making them financially dependent on the abuser. By becoming financially independent, one huge block to safety has been removed. Some resources:
- WI$E (Working In Support of Education) provides national education programs and services to youth and domestic violence victims that builds financial literacy and fosters social and business entrepreneurship.
- All State Foundation, in partnership with the National Network to End Domestic Violence, developed Moving Ahead Through Financial Management, a comprehensive financial educational toolkit focused on building and enhancing financial skills.
- National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, Financial Education Project addressing economic issues through financial education.
- Financial Planning Association, Pro Bono Division, provides free financial planning services to victims of domestic violence and other underserved individuals and families striving to build assets and improve their lives. Different chapters outreach to other populations in need to meet the specific needs of their communities.
- Jewish Women International (JWI): Life$avings: Financial Literacy for Young Women is a series of workshops that empowers teen girls, college students and young professionals to start managing their money early in their careers.
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. If you need immediate help, call National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TDD). Crime Prevention 101
- Tip #16 – Getting Help: Orders of Protection with GPS Monitoring. Domestic Violence Awareness Month
The most powerful tool for stopping abuse is usually obtaining a restraining order (also called an order of protection in some states) against the abusive person. While it’s been proven to reduce the violence in many cases, it’s been known to increase the violence in others, resulting in severe injury and/or death to the victim. It’s only a piece of paper, after all, and it won’t stop a bullet or a psychotic/vindictive abuser who’s determined to get revenge. Orders of Protection with a GPS monitoring component. The police can only get involved if an abuser violates a restraining order and, unfortunately, that might be waay to late. Judges can increase the safety of people with very violent abusers, however, by granting a Restraining Order with a GPS monitoring component. This requires that an abuser (or a stalker!) wear an unremoveable global positioning anklet that will send an alert to both the victim and the police if the boundaries or terms of the Order are being violated. Early warning should enable the victim to take evasive action and, hopefully, enable the police to intercept the violator before any violence is committed. About 12-15 states offer GPS monitoring now; and while it’s expensive to implement this program, especially in these days of austerity spending and budget cuts, it’s a critical life-saving option that must not be disregarded.
Should you or shouldn’t you? Before filing for any kind of restraining order to protect yourself (and your family), get advice from a local or national domestic violence organization or a Family Justice Center to help you make up your mind. Bottom line, though, you know your situation better than anyone else, so trust your instincts and do only what you feel is safest. If you do decide to file for protection, work out a safety plan first.
Resources on Orders of Protection:
- Womens Law Center: http://www.womenslaw.org/laws_state_type.php?statelaw_name=Restraining%20Orders&state_code=GE
- http://www.ehow.com/facts_7217614_legal-restraining-orders.html
- http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/abusiverelationships/a/restrain_order.htm
- Crime Prevention 101 show on Orders of Protection with GPS Monitoring Component: http://bit.ly/OP-GPS
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. If you need immediate help, call National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TDD). Crime Prevention 101
- Tip #15 – Getting Help: The Family Justice Centers. Domestic Violence Awareness Month
Why doesn’t she just leave? That’s what most people ask when they talk about domestic violence. A significant part of the answer is that it might require visits to more than 20 county, state, judicial, medical, social service agencies and schools (especially if children are involved). Not to mention countless lost hours from work if the victim is employed (often leading to her getting fired); and countless, disheartening repetitions of the victim’s story to each new agency in order to “just leave.” In 1999, to address this enormous problem, the first Family Justice Center came into existence. One of the most significant initiatives for domestic violence victims in the 20th century, a Family Justice Center is a one-stop shop that houses most of the services domestic violence victims might need in one location, including prosecutors, police, links to local Juvenile, Family and Criminal courts, social services, child protective workers, probation, parole and immigration officers, medical and health services, counseling services for victims and children and domestic violence advocates. Each Center is slightly different, based on the needs of each individual community.
Family Justice Centers are located all over the US. To find one near you, check with your local district attorney’s office, a domestic violence hotline or the National Family Justice Center Alliance.
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. If you need immediate help, call National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TDD). Crime Prevention 101
- Tip #14 – Why Doesn't She Just Leave? Domestic Violence Awareness Month
Why do people (usually women, the primary victims of domestic violence) remain in dangerous, abusive relationships, often without seeking any help for years? And, why do they repeatedly return to an abuser, over and over, after initially getting the courage to leave? The family and friends of the battered women (and the police!) often give up in exasperation over this; but many barriers to “leaving,” real or perceived, do, in fact, exist. Here are just three: - Over time, after repeated verbal and/or physical abuse, the victim has become emotionally dependent on the abuser, blames herself for the abuse and feel she deserves it. She might also deny the potential for severe abuse or death and rationalize or find excuses for the abuse.
- The victim had been isolated by the abuser from friends, family and other sources of help and believes there’s no escape; particularly relevant if the victim lives in a rural area or is an immigrant (legal or illegal).
- The victim fears that the abuser will become even more violent if she leaves, especially if he’s threatened to kill her in the past; and/or fears the abuser will harm the children if she leaves, especially if he’s granted joint custody (quite common).
To help us all stop blaming the victim and gain more understanding of why people stay in abusive relationships, check out the website of the highly-praised documentary “POWER AND CONTROL: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN AMERICA“ for 10 powerful video answers to this simple-sounding question.
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. If you need immediate help, call National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TDD). Crime Prevention 101
- Tip #13 – Not Just Physical. What Constitutes Abuse?
Domestic violence is commonly defined by battering or physical abuse in most of our minds, characterized by behaviors ranging from shaking and shoving to beating and marital rape (yes! you can say no to a husband/partner) and everything up to murder. But, legally domestic abuse may or may not include physical violence and most people don’t know that! Domestic abuse is about power and control. The abuse can be solely emotional, with such behaviors as violent tantrums or intimidating the person with threats of violence; constant belittling and insults (when alone or with others); extreme possessiveness and accusations of unfaithfulness, especially if the person gets even minute attention from the opposite sex; stalking; torture like depriving the person of food or sleep, taking away their clothes, destroying property; harming beloved pets and isolating the person from family, friends and avenues for help.
Domestic abuse can also be financial including controlling all finances (sometimes the person doesn’t even know how to balance a checkbook or pay bills) and making the person have to beg for money; not allowing the person to earn a living outside the home so the person is dependent on the abuser.
Drug/alcohol abuse exacerbate the abuse or violence in a relationship but they are not the cause, the reason or, in any way, an excuse for abuse or violence. Batters batter because they can and can get away with it. Bottom line.
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. If you need immediate help, call National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TDD). Crime Prevention 101
- Tip #12 – Protest Offensive Media Coverage: Domestic Violence Awareness Month
Protest media coverage that excuses abusive behavior, blames the victim or trivializes abuse. Speak out against magazines, TV shows, movies or online media that glorifies violence against women. The best way to make your voice heard is via the offending entity’s website, Facebook and/or Twitter page or other social media sites. Organize a media protest by your group or organization via the group’s own social media sites. If you are a survivor, speak out by writing an article about your experiences or a protest against something offensive in the media.
Some resources:
- Women’s Media Center: http://womensmediacenter.com/
- http://nccev.org/violence/media.html
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. If you need immediate help, call National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TDD). Crime Prevention 101
- Tip #11 – Promote Awareness: Domestic Violence Awareness Month
To promote awareness of domestic violence, wear an appropriate T-shirt, sweatshirt, bracelet, purple ribbon or an item with the logo of a domestic violence organization. See the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (http://www.ncadv.org/) store for clothing, postures, brochures and other items: The Clothesline Project features T-shirts decorated by survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault (and their families) to raise awareness of the issue and promote healing. Bring a Clothesline display to your neighborhood or organize a Clothesline session in your community. http://www.clotheslineproject.org/
Distribute brochures and other materials from national and local domestic violence programs for display anyplace women frequent: libraries, supermarkets, chain restaurants, department stores, health clubs, health clinics, churches, mosques and synagogues and any place else you can think of. Ask places with public restrooms if you can put brochures in the women’s room. Great group project!
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. If you need immediate help, call National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TDD). Crime Prevention 101
- Tip #10 - Donate a Cell Phone: Domestic Violence Awareness Month
Observe Domestic Violence Awareness Month by donating old or unwanted cell phones to domestic violence organizations or shelters. Better yet, even get your religious group, school or company to organize a phone drive. Here’s how to go about it:First step: Go to eHow.com and find an article titled: How to Donate Your Old Cell Phone to Help Victims of Domestic Violence for instructions on things like erasing your phone’s address book and texts.
Next: Where to donate? You might look into the groups listed below as a start:
- Wirelessfoundation.org which even provides a free prepaid envelope for the phones
- Hopeline from Verizon
- Shelter Alliance: http://shelteralliance.net/cell-phone-donations/index.cfm
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. If you need immediate help, call National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TDD). Crime Prevention 101
- Tip #9 - Give the gift of your time and/or your money: Domestic Violence Awareness Month
To make Domestic Violence Awareness Month more meaningful for you, give the gift of your time and/or your money to an organization like the National Coalition to End Domestic Violence or CUT IT OUT (which teaches hairdressers to spot the signs of domestic violence among their clientele and safely point them to resources in their local community) or any group that’s actively advocating to end domestic violence and help it’s victims. October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. If you need immediate help, call National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TDD). Crime Prevention 101
- Tip #8 - Adopt a Shelter: Domestic Violence Awareness Month
To make Domestic Violence Awareness Month more meaningful for you, give the gift of your time and/or money to a local shelter. Go to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence to find a shelter near you and for suggestions as to ways you can help, such as donations of clothes, furniture, toiletries, children’s toys and books, school supplies, and so on. If you belong to a group or organization, get them to “adopt” too. You could ask a local beauty salon or nail salon to sponsor a Day of Beauty, for example. Or, ask a few local clothing stores to make donations. There are lots of possibilities. Pretty much everything is needed and will be gratefully appreciated by the women and children in need.
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. If you need immediate help, call National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TDD). Crime Prevention 101
- Tip #7 - Present a Domestic Violence Program to Your Group: Domestic Violence Awareness Month
Invite a speaker to your workplace, book group, neighborhood association, religious congregation, PTA, etc! Some ideas: National Coalition Against Domestic Violence: http://ncadv.org/
Asian/Pacific Islander Domestic Violence Resource Project: http://www.dvrp.org/
Ayuda (for Spanish-speaking survivors): http://www.ayudainc.org/template/index.cfm
Jewish Women International: http://www.jwi.org
Break the Cycle (teens and young adults): www.breakthecycle.org
Men Can Stop Rape: http://http://www.mencanstoprape.org
Yahoo Directory of DV Organizations: http://dir.yahoo.com/Society_and_Culture/Crime/Types_of_Crime/Domestic_Violence/Organizations/
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. If you need immediate help, call National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TDD). Crime Prevention 101
- Tip #6 - Domestic Violence and the Workplace: Domestic Violence Awareness Month
Does your employer have a policy for workplace safety? Too many lives — and billions of dollars — are lost every year because of being unprepared. The Future Without Violence organization has workplace resources that can help. Also, check out Becky’s Fund (http://www.beckysfund.org/cms/) and the Partnership for Prevention (www.caepv.org) for more information. Employers Against Domestic Violence, a non-profit coalition formed in MA in 1997, helps businesses, hospitals and large corporations (like Verizon) all over the country formulate workplace policies to deal with domestic violence issues.
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. If you need immediate help, call National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TDD). Crime Prevention 101
- Tip #5 - Examine Your Relationships Honestly: Domestic Violence Awareness Month
Examine your own relationships honestly. If there’s a pattern of abuse in your life, it’s harming you, your children and those around you who love you as well. Take this quiz from the AARDVARC: An Abuse, Rape & Domestic Violence Aid & Resource Collection. And, be honest! Quiz: http://www.aardvarc.org/dv/abusequiz.shtml
For more clues: http://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/am-i-being-abused-2/
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. If you need immediate help, call National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TDD). Crime Prevention 101
- Tip #4 - Teach the Boys Young: Domestic Violence Awareness Month
Teach the boys in your life very early to respect women and use their strength to help not hurt: Men Can Stop Rape, A Call To Men and Men Stopping Violence are great resources. October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. If you need immediate help, call National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TDD). Crime Prevention 101
- Tip #3 - Faith-Based Discussions: Domestic Violence Awareness Month
Ask your rabbi, minister or religious leader to speak out publicly about domestic violence. See Faith Trust Institute (www.faithtrustinstitute.org) for resources, books and suggestions.October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. If you need immediate help, call National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TDD). Crime Prevention 101
- Tip #2 - Talk to Your Teen/Tween: Domestic Violence Awareness Month
Got a teenager or tweenager at home? Talk to them as soon as possible about what a healthy, non-violent relationship is: Check out Love Is Not-Abuse (www.loveisnotabuse.com) for resources.October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. If you need immediate help, call National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TDD). Crime Prevention 101
- Tip #1 - Know someone whose relationship concerns you? Domestic Violence Awareness Month
Know someone whose relationship concerns you? Let them know you’re there and willing to listen. Friends Against Abuse has guidelines for you.October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. If you need immediate help, call National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TDD). Crime Prevention 101
- 10 Things Men Can Do to Stop Men's Violence Against Women
From a great organization called A Call to Men:
10 Things Men Can Do To End Men’s Violence Against Women
1. Acknowledge and understand how sexism, male dominance and male privilege lay the foundation for all forms of violence against women.2. Examine and challenge our individual sexism and the role that we play in supporting men who are abusive.
3. Recognize and stop colluding with other men by getting out of our socially defined roles, and take a stance to end violence against women.
4. Remember that our silence is affirming. When we choose not to speak out against men’s violence, we are supporting it.
5. Educate and re-educate our sons and other young men about our responsibility in ending men’s violence against women.
6.”Break out of the man box”- Challenge traditional images of manhood that stop us from actively taking a stand to end violence against women.
7. Accept and own our responsibility that violence against women will not end until men become part of the solution to end it. We must take an active role in creating a cultural and social shift that no longer tolerates violence against women.
8. Stop supporting the notion that men’s violence against women is due to mental illness, lack of anger management skills, chemical dependency, stress, etc… Violence against women is rooted in the historic oppression of women and the outgrowth of the socialization of men.
9. Take responsibility for creating appropriate and effective ways to develop systems to educate and hold men accountable.
10. Create systems of accountability to women in your community. Violence against women will end only when we take direction from those who understand it most, women.
Copyright © 2004, ACT Men Inc. All rights
A CALL TO MEN is proud to be a project of Tides Center http://www.tidescenter.org
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